Erasing Victim-hood

Lately, I have been confronted with people who are in a self-imposed state of what I call victim-hood. I also recently read a book about our soul's stages of development, which confirmed my perception on being a victim.

Happiness and joy can only come from inside. There were people in concentrations camps, who found joy in the smallest things in life and became inspirations to not only other prisoners but even to the guards. They knew more peace than most people living in abundance. Finding our way when the outside world seems to be falling apart is not easy. But it is essential for us to realize that we are not those outside circumstances. It is essential for us to dis-attach our emotions and our thoughts from dwelling on the outside world in order to find peace.

Sometimes people with lots of money and the biggest houses on the block are also on anti-depressants etc. And those with so much abundance, delicious food, shelter, friends, music, beautiful children are also not happy. They look in the world and try to find the ugliness, rather than looking inside for the beauty. You can only see beauty in the world when you are able to see beauty from within.

These same judgmental people look at their own bodies and find fault with everything about them. They are too fat, too skinny, their legs are too short, or too long or too thin, etc. They beat themselves up at every turn and wonder why thine eyes are only able to see a negative world. They wonder why god seems to be against them. They fail to see the lessons their soul is desperately trying to teach them.

They repeat the same lessons over and over in life and feel like their on roller coaster rides, blaming every bad business associate, bad wife or husband for their failed marriage; they blame the car company for taking their car; they blame the government for ticketing their car; they blame the economy for their depression and anger. They have made themselves into victims every time they blame anyone for their lives.

And what would the alternative be? The alternative would be for them to take responsibility for their actions and for the mistakes they made to put themselves in a place to learn these valuable lessons - over and over again for those who fail to get it the first time. And the reason we must learn the same lesson over and over is because when you blame everyone else and never take responsibility for the circumstance of your life, you can not learn from your mistakes, since your ego has created a state of denial, and you are completely unaware that you made a mistake in the first place.

If you think the world does things to you and you have no part in the this drama, you are a victim. Unlike you think, you are not an innocent one. This is eternal victim-hood, and the only escape from this self-imposed concentration camp is to look within, to find peace and become responsible for your inner peace, no matter what is happening in the world around you. To quiet the voice of the ego who seeks to blame and lives in fear of taking responsibility is the only path to building a new life and to walking away from the self-imposed depressed, angry, victim that seeks to keep you just as you are forever.

It is not my intention to suggest that certain events like acts of violence etc. are the victims fault. Circumstances that are not within our control are not necessarily our responsibility. However, how we choose to react to those circumstances is within our realm of control.

In my life, I used to have my shoes and school supplies even my toys stolen from me as a child. I would be upset for a day, then get a new pair of shoes etc. and move onto the new item. It kept happening because I kept leaving my things unattended. It was a bad habit that exacerbated my mother sometimes. I had to learn to be present.

On another occasion I was held up at gun point and robbed. My higher-self told me to leave my wallet in my car, which I did. It also told me to walk across the street when I saw a man getting out of his car on my path; I choose to follow the friend I was talking to rather than leading both of us across the street to safety. We were lucky. He took my friend's wallet and we called to cancel the cards immediately, and the police caught a guy who had stolen a car, because of us. (not the guy that had stolen the wallet however) When it was all over, I was so happy. I proclaimed to my friend, "We just won the lottery. We're still alive. This is amazing." I have had many unfortunate friends who live in a state of negativity and victim-hood who would have had a very different reaction.

I have had to learn the lesson of listening to my higher-self over and over. After avoiding the clear warnings I was given, I am certain, angels must have saved my life more than once. I have now made a commitment to myself to listen and to follow this advice. When I have a powerful feeling to stay home and go to bed early rather than appease over-controlling people who demand my time and attention, I will choose to stay home on those occasions rather than attempt to please others. For me, this was a powerful lesson, one I had to learn over and over again almost being killed several times in order to grock it.

I'm also lucky to be so fortunate to always look on the bright side of life. That being said, I know the other side, the side of wallowing in negativity and pain and blame; I've always felt that I wasn't strong enough to endure such self-torture. The point is that if I can look on the bright side, anyone can. Are there any other benefits to looking on the bright side besides being in control of your life?

One main physical and mental benefit of positive thinking is health related. Positive thinkers get sick less, they feel better, they have more energy to do creative things etc. I also firmly believe that allowing yourself to stay in a depressed state for too long a time can lead to the very chemical imbalances that create a constant state of depression, basically an ego-centered existence. Action, getting a job if you're unemployed, any job making some money just to get you out of the house and into a different state of mind, can be all you need to knock the demon of depression right out of your system. And if you're depressed because you hate your job, take a painting class or some hobby that you've dreamed off; plan a trip etc. Taking action towards your dreams will help empower you and create the opportunities for a new and better job and the life you desire.

According to the book, "You're Not Crazy, You're Just Waking Up!" by Michael Mirdad, we go through these states of development throughout our lives. When our soul or higher-self is ready for us to learn a new lesson things get shaken up in our lives. We loose jobs, relationships fade, we feel a sense of unease for a while. Things fall apart, so new things can come into our lives. We have reached a turning point. If we are aware of this process, it can make these shifts less painful and more rewarding, as we know we are moving on to new and better things, if we are willing to learn the valuable lessons from the mess that has come into our lives. If we live in denial, or take medications, or run away from the truth, we will remain in a constant state of mess or repeating mess until we learn the lesson.

Ahh, a big deep breath now. All the worlds problems are solved. Now can we all just get along?

Namaste...

Finding Truth

This morning I had to ask myself why my mind was holding on like a dog with a bone to a certain idea. The idea was of fixing someone elses life. I imagined conversations. I imagined inviting this person to lunch. I also imagined the unintended outcome of indignation from the other person. I had to ask myself, what about this person's situation is my mind grasping on to. What about this situation concerns and bothers me so much. What is the drama I’m trying to create in my own life?

I realized after a nice walk, listening to beautiful music and seeing smiling faces, that there is no drama. My focus is on living my life and creating the art, music, and writing that flows through me and onto the page. It was a relief to realize that I am not responsible for fixing anyone. I can only live as an example being my true self and hope that others see that as a calling to live as their own true selves.

No amounts of pleading or lecturing will ever make anyone change. And many times we can unintentionally deflate the other person’s own desire to find their way or force them unto paths that are detours. However, it is up to us and our personal and spiritual development to resist the desire to not only give advice but to follow the advice of others, whether they be news announcers, advertisements, articles, well-meaning friends and friends with hidden agendas and that goes double for family.

The only advice we should be heeding is from those who have personally walked the path we wish to walk. And the most important advice is from our higher-selves that is connected to all and knows why we have incarnated in this life at this time. This higher self speaks to us not in traditional language but through the wind and the trees and events and nature. The last chapter of a book I’m reading, Inspiration, by Wayne Dyer is about the four ways that he experiences spirit speaking to him. Feelings, nature, events, and people are all ways spirit speaks to us.

Perhaps my own resistance to finishing this book (I’d like to think that I was savoring every word) is directly related to my ego grasping onto someone else’s drama and trying to make it my own. Now, I’m asking my ego the question. “Do we not have enough drama of our own?” And the voice which has become quiet tries to mutter, “but, this is our drama, but.” And now it sulks off like a reprimanded child. I know it will be back; and it is my job to be ready.

Namaste,
Callie